How Athletes Become Frustrated

[Wilfred Arzaga]

How Athletes Become Frustrated
As a matter of fact, parents contact us every day with their stories. One sports parent describes how his son gets easily angry:
“My 14-year-old son has such high expectations for himself. If he does not hit the golf ball perfectly, or if he strikes out at baseball, he gets angry with himself. How do we get him to just have fun and let go of the mistakes?”
If you can relate to this parent’s story, your kids’ high expectations are one reason they shut down, cry, or lose their temper in practice and competition–when things don’t go according to plan.

What kids are most likely to have emotional tantrums on the field, court, or course?
1.Kids who are super competitive and hate to lose.
2.Kids who work hard in practice and are highly motivated to succeed.
3.Kids who demand a lot from themselves via their personal outcome expectations.
4.Kids who have a need for approval from others such as parents and coaches.
5.Kids who want to perform perfectly and can’t stand it when they mess up.
If your athletes fit one or more of the above profiles, do not lose hope. I know you want what’s best for your athletes’ success and happiness in sports. I know I do. And parents should not blame themselves because their kids get upset easily after making mistakes.
I understand that coping with frustration is a tough challenge for both young athletes and their parents. Over 40% of parents we surveyed said their kids struggle with this issue…
It’s costly because their emotional state effects your kids enjoyment and participation in sports. The number one reason kids drop out of sports is because they no longer have fun. When kids are frustrated, angry, or upset about their performance, they can’t have fun.

Making matters worse, parents, in their attempt to help kids improve emotional control and reduce their frustration, they often aggravate kids more. The more you punish the negative behaviors of anger and frustration, the more kids resent you.
But you can’t help kids improve by focusing on the negative behaviors. You must help your athletes modify their beliefs, expectations, and level of self-acceptance.